4 Minute Read

Prepare Your Heart

To the best of your ability, get rid of all distractions. Take a few minutes to breathe deeply and quiet yourself in the Lord’s presence. Then, ask the Lord to speak to you in this time. Let Him know that you will listen and make whatever adjustments He will reveal to you.

Read God’s Word

Exodus 9-10
Matthew 18:1-20

A Verse for Today

Slowly and reflectively read the following verse(s) and listen to what God will say to you through His written Word. Consider writing down any insights He reveals to you.

Matthew 18:15-17 (CSB): “If your brother sins against you, go tell him his fault, between you and him alone… But if he won’t listen, take one or two others with you, … If he doesn’t pay attention to them, tell the church. If he doesn’t pay attention even to the church, let him be like a Gentile and a tax collector to you.”

Reflecting on God’s Word

You know what it’s like to be at odds with someone, don’t you? They say something or do something that brings you some sort of harm, they fail to acknowledge their actions or make it right, and you are left with how to respond.

The words of Jesus I have chosen for today have been used throughout the last 2,000 years to seek God-honoring resolution after conflict has emerged.

To begin with, there are many things that others may do to us that we should simply forget. They aren’t a big deal. If we were to try to address them, we would demonstrate how petty we are. So, some things just need to be dropped and forgotten.

But there are some things that should be addressed. Jesus’ words call us to deal with them privately and only escalate the matter if each consecutive step does not bring about the desired end result.

First, we go to the guilty person privately. If the matter is resolved, we can praise the Lord, and no one else will ever hear about it.

But if the private conversation doesn’t work and the extent of the wrong merits taking it a step further, we should choose two or three neutral witnesses to take with us. Their job is not to gang up on the supposed guilty party. Their job is to witness what is said and done.

If this small group conversation with the witnesses doesn’t work, you must “take it to the church.” The very nature of this step makes it abundantly clear that we aren’t talking about a small matter. The wrong must be large enough that it is worth the church’s time to consider the allegations and the words of the witnesses. It is assumed that the church chooses a few individuals (probably including the pastor) to go and speak with the guilty person, with the desire for confession and repentance to take place.

If the guilty party doesn’t listen to the church’s call for confession and repentance, Jesus says, ” Let him be like a Gentile and a tax collector to you.” In other words, treat the unrepentant guilty party like an unbeliever. Share the Gospel with them because saved people shouldn’t ever act like that. Saved people shouldn’t have hearts so hard that they are unwilling (or incapable) to acknowledge where they messed up when so many have spoken into the matter.

Yes, it’s much easier to sweep things under the rug without dealing with them while they fester. It’s also easier to gossip about (or slander) the supposed guilty party. However, these and other approaches do little to hold the guilty party accountable while working toward the desired outcome of repentance and restoration.

So, let’s determine to deal with conflict correctly for the spiritual well-being of the church and all in it. Let’s be determined to follow Jesus’ commands with a heart that desires the ultimate end of substantive unity being restored.

Spend Time in Prayer

  • Ask God to humble you so you can own your faults if someone points them out.
  • Ask God to help you respond to someone else’s wrong in the right way (His way) and not in ways that are easier but do not work to God’s desired end.

Going Deeper

If you want to dig a little deeper into how the Bible tells us to resolve conflicts, consider reading the following GotQuestions articles:

“How should Christians handle disputes (Matthew 18:15-17)?”

“How should conflict in the church be handled?”

Sharing

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Matt Ellis is the pastor of First Baptist Church in Polk City, Florida (fbcpolkcity.com)