6 Minute Read

Prepare Your Heart

To the best of your ability, get rid of all distractions. Take a few minutes to breathe deeply and quiet yourself in the Lord’s presence. Then, ask the Lord to speak to you in this time. Let Him know that you will listen and make whatever adjustments He will reveal to you.

Read God’s Word

Jeremiah 26-28
2 Timothy 4

A Verse for Today

Slowly and reflectively read the following verse(s) and listen to what God will say to you through His written Word. Consider writing down any insights He reveals to you.

2 Timothy 4:14-16 (CSB): “Alexander the coppersmith did great harm to me. The Lord will repay him according to his works. Watch out for him yourself because he strongly opposed our words. At my first defense, no one stood by me, but everyone deserted me. May it not be counted against them.”

Reflecting on God’s Word

All of us know what it’s like to struggle to forgive. Maybe it was a family member, a coworker, a neighbor, a fellow church member, or someone you barely knew that did or said something that deeply hurt you or someone you love. And you struggled to forgive.

At its root, I think our struggle for forgiveness comes from a place that fears the wrong will not be properly addressed. We are concerned that the one who hurt us or a loved one will not experience the appropriate punishment for what they did. So, since we think others (faulty judicial system, etc.) or God may not handle it adequately, we hold onto it. And in so doing, we bring even greater harm to ourselves.

“Unforgiveness is the poison you drink every day hoping that the other person will die.” — Debbie Ford

I have my own struggles. I’ve been hurt by others just like you have. And in my position as a pastor, I have had more struggles with bitter unforgiveness than I care to count. I could give dozens of names and details of incidents where my family was hurt deeply by mean-spirited (maybe wounded, but mean all the same) church members. I struggled with the duplicity of someone who could appear so holy in a church setting but who could be so vicious behind the curtain of ministry. And I have particularly struggled at times with knowing that my wife and sons still carry some of the scars from those folks.

I have had to take time away so that I could get alone with the Lord, bear my heart to Him, cry out for His grace that would enable me to forgive, and then consciously choose to release the person from my heart’s prison for what they did to me or my family. On occasion, forgiving others felt impossible. But the relief I felt after releasing them from my heart’s prison was exhilarating.

I will never forget going through Bruce Wilkinson’s workbook and videos entitled “70 x 7: Finding Peace by Forgiving Others… and Yourself.” In that study, I learned so many things that I never realized that the Bible taught.

One of those things was that I needed to forgive others. That was fairly obvious. But one of the many things that wasn’t so obvious was that Heaven was listening to me. Heaven’s court desired to know if I wanted to keep the charges or drop them. Stated another way, I could ask God to release the person who hurt me from any divine judgment, or I could ask God to punish them for what they did to me or my family.

Notice in Paul’s words how he asked Heaven’s court to hold Alexander the Coppersmith liable for the wrong he did to Him. However, when Paul spoke of the Christians who deserted him when he needed them most, he asked Heaven’s court to drop the charges.

Paul was pressing charges

2 Timothy 4:14-15 (CSB): “Alexander the coppersmith did great harm to me. The Lord will repay him according to his works. Watch out for him yourself because he strongly opposed our words.”

Paul was dropping the charges

2 Timothy 4:16 (CSB): “At my first defense, no one stood by me, but everyone deserted me. May it not be counted against them.”

Did you notice in the text where the Apostle Paul wanted God to “repay” Alexander the coppersmith while he was petitioning Heaven’s court not to repay the Christians who deserted him in his time of need (“May it not be counted against them”)?

Friend, when someone wrongs you in society, you can either press charges or drop the charges. It would seem that Heaven operates this way, too. Ultimately, we rely upon the Lord to do what He deems best. But it seems that Heaven listens to us to see what we desire to do.

And lest you think that 2 Timothy 4:14-16 is a remote passage, consider that there were two other places in Scripture where someone who was wronged asked for Heaven to drop the charges.

Luke 23:33-34 (CSB): “When they arrived at the place called The Skull, they crucified him there, along with the criminals, one on the right and one on the left. Then Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, because they do not know what they are doing.’ And they divided his clothes and cast lots.” (emphasis mine)

Acts 7:59-60 (CSB): “While they were stoning Stephen, he called out, ‘Lord Jesus, receive my spirit!’ He knelt down and cried out with a loud voice, ‘Lord, do not hold this sin against them!’ And after saying this, he fell asleep.” (emphasis mine)

So, friend, have you been wronged? That’s actually a rhetorical question because I already know the answer. Everyone will be wronged by others and will sometimes even be the initiator of wrongs.

In regard to what has been done to you, you really need to forgive the person(s) who hurt you or a loved one. God threatens bad things upon those who refuse to forgive (read Matthew 18:21-35, esp. vs.32-35; also Matthew 6:14-15).

In the spirit of Matthew 18:21-35, God has forgiven us a massive debt that was absolutely impossible for us to pay when He saved us. Further, He paid off our debt with the life of His own Son. So the question is: “Since we have been forgiven such an enormous debt, how can we refuse to forgive those who have harmed us so little when compared to what Heaven forgave us?

Friend, who do you need to forgive? What is the name of the person(s) who makes your heart rate and blood pressure go through the roof when you hear it? You need to ask God for the grace to forgive and then act in that grace to release others from your heart’s prison.

Spend Time in Prayer

  • Ask God to help you see if there is anyone you need to forgive.
  • Ask God to give you the grace that would enable you to forgive the one(s) who hurt you or a loved one. Then, act in that grace.

Going Deeper

If you want to dig a little deeper into the topic of forgiveness, consider reading the following GotQuestions article:

“Since God withholds forgiveness, can we?”

Sharing

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Matt Ellis is the pastor of White Hall Baptist Church in Richmond, Kentucky (whitehallbaptistchurch.org)